Blog Post

Wedding Traditions: How They've Evolved....

Donna Maurer • Nov 26, 2019

... and How to Incorporate Them

Bride and Groom Kissing Before Cutting Wedding Cake
Weddings have long been tailored to certain customs and traditions. Some of the most unique ones have been passed down generations and are the most anticipated point of the ceremony or reception for many of the guests. In today’s society, we can see a true blend of both sides’ tastes and the creation of some new customs, breaking some of the “regular” traditions that are well-known. Weddings now pave the way as the beginning of a new life together to also showcase some new evolvements from the historical conventions. Here we will examine some of the customs, how they have evolved and are incorporated in weddings today.

Asking Permission From The Father
A long-standing tradition that has changed is asking the bride’s father for permission to marry his daughter. Centuries have catered to this idea of patriarchy where the father is the head of household and possessing his daughter, allowing her to leave only by his rule. Some people believe that it is a respectful custom. 

The new spin on asking is this: instead of asking for permission, just let the bride’s father and mother know of your intentions to propose. This evolvement still gives respect to the family, includes the mother so it is not male-dominated, and also doesn’t ask permission, but rather shows intention. As adults, you are free to make our own decisions in life, and shouldn’t be asking if something is okay to do.

Formal Attire
Weddings have long been viewed as a formal affair, where you have to get dolled up with lots of accessories or wear your best suit. Well, now those days are gone, especially with the rise of destination weddings which tend to be more casual. Finding the perfect wedding dress doesn’t have to break the bank, or even be the traditional white. 

Bridesmaids and groomsmen don’t even have to match anymore. The custom of having the same dress in the same style and color, as well as the same jewelry and shoes no longer applies. Incorporating this idea, as a bride, you can give your bridesmaids the option to choose a style that suits them along with their own jewelry and shoes, a fun new tradition that demonstrates various styles and colors together and makes for one unique and memorable ceremony.

Seeing Each Other Before The Wedding
It has been passed down through generations that it is “bad luck” for a bride and groom to see each other before they are wed. Today’s tradition has evolved to the couple having their “first look” before the ceremony. This has the couple meeting privately and sharing a moment together before going in front of all of the family and friends, usually captured by the photographer as a memorable new and unique custom. You can incorporate this by setting up a private meeting time and location either with or without the photographer so that you and your spouse can have your own “first look.”  

The Dollar Dance and First Dance
The customary money dance has been a standing tradition that many couples engage in, and it still does happen frequently today at receptions. The idea behind it is the guests will help get the newlyweds started on their journey together, accumulating for the honeymoon or a new home. But instead of asking for the money during the dance, many couples have engaged in just having the dance itself so that they can have a private moment with each of their loved ones. 

The wedding experts from Around Town Wedding Band, a premier provider of live wedding entertainment in the Northeast, weighed in on the Dollar Dance tradition. According to their expertise, “some newlyweds will still hold onto the tradition of the dance, especially if they plan on making some big purchases together in the wake of their newly wedded status. But we’ve also seen the rise of many couples taking the time to dance with multiple guests without asking for money.” Nowadays, the custom of asking for money seems less appropriate, especially of many of your guests come bearing gifts. 
The importance of a First Dance has also changed. Traditionally, first dances between spouses used to be more formal and serene. They have since changed into a spectacle, sometimes incorporating the rest of the wedding party into a very fun and choreographed routine. Sometimes just the newlyweds themselves break into an upbeat and entertaining dance. This new tradition is extremely entertaining for guests.

The Wedding Cake
Many couples still have a wedding cake that they cut to take their traditional “first bite” before offering pieces to their guests. But this custom has also evolved into couples finding some unique alternatives to the cake as well. In some cases, couples will have cupcake towers, and others just having a huge buffet of candies, cookies, and other confections - many of them sporting the wedding’s signature colors. 

Throwing the Bouquet
During the reception, another tradition that couples used to do was having the garter removed from the bride and tossed into the pool of eligible bachelors. The same goes for the bride throwing the bouquet out into the sea of still single women. Whoever catches each has to put the garter on the bouquet-catcher, and the “further up the leg” the garter is, the more luck to the newlyweds. 

In Medieval times the women in attendance at weddings would try to steal a piece of the bride’s dress as a symbol of their own luck in marriage, and she would throw the bouquet to distract and make an escape without damaging her dress. This tradition has been completely squashed in some cases, where there is no garter or bouquet tossed at all. The evolved version now done by couples is that instead of tossing the bouquet they allow their guests to take home a centerpiece from the table, which is usually some type of flower arrangement. Another spin-off of the flowers is having seed packets for all guests so that they can plant their own. 

Create Your Own Traditions Together
There are many other wedding traditions that have changed. Writing your own vows to read instead of exchanging formal ones, and nixing rings and getting matching tattoos are a couple of other variances. Ultimately your wedding is your special day, and whatever customs or traditions you feel are necessary to keep or not are up to you and your spouse. Have some fun creating your own memorable experiences and things you would like to do together on your wedding day, and enjoy tying the knot and starting your new life together. 



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